Sunday, 6 December 2009

Pedro Paixão

I am an intruder in myself. I came to myself to observe. Later I have interfered. I knew then about my past. That I was born in Coimbra (Portugal) in the year of 1973 and there I have tasted the joys of childhood. I was a calm, happy and respectful child who liked to play above all things. I was an average student. I told the intruder that at the age of 13 that I was forced to move out to Lisbon and that that move has changed me in a lot of ways. The metropolis was something confusing and frightening. It took me a while to do what I was good at back then: to socialize and to make, many, many friends. I became then a really good student. In Sports also. Phase two: sports, effort, companionship, dedication, focusing on goals. I did not enjoy it, says the intruder!

And then I found myself! An observer, as told. I caught myself in the aftermath of a heartbreaking and of an escape to Heidelberg, Germany, for six introspective months. And I stayed in. Invited Art in. I couldn’t care less about Art but the intruder did and brought it in. It put an end to myself, to my almost finished degree and with the swimming classes I was happy teaching. Took a future away from me but brought me a now. It offered me Art and Music- The Cure at first, then The Doors, The Smiths, Fields of the Nephilim and Dead can Dance. The Metal from Tiamat, Samael, Paradise Lost, Root and Bathory, Type O Negative, the metal from Moonspell, and other genres like Radiohead, Massive Attack; and classical. It got me the movies I felt, the paintings that have always been but that now were much more- Salvador Dali was the wrapping!- and many other forms of Art I am now in need of.

I think I got over-influenced!

I took myself to practise in Brandoa, the gigs in Ovar and Tunes, the recordings in Amadora (all in Portugal). The deal with our dream label, the recordings in Germany, the problems of a band within itself, the gigs in Scotland and in Poland. The tour buses, the bands whom I loved and now shared the same space with. The recordings in England and in Finland, the endless touring in the exotic USA. And I always came along. I became the desire I didn’t have.

I only didn’t stop myself me from loving someone and to love again.

And I, intruder in myself, the melody that took over me, always full of myself would kneel before myself, the intruder!

Trying love under will.

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